Stop cows from eating grass!

I used to like it when Spring arrived. But this year I’ve had enough. The milk tastes foul at the moment. In the tradition of psychological separation from the provenance of food, I demand that my milk taste yummy all year round!

My coffee tastes like grass! Ewwww. Instead of a caffè latte, I have a caffè verde di erba. Icky. My espresso con un po ‘di latte is now an espresso del prato. Ugh. For the last month I’ve been buying one bottle of milk from each supermarket in the hope of guaranteeing that someone’s cows have been fed nice, regular, neutral industrial feed! I then mix the yummy and the yucky to achieve something palatable.

So, if there are any cows out there reading my words, please moo your farmer into submission… no more nature! Boycott grass!

That’s all.

11 thoughts on “Stop cows from eating grass!”

  1. Duncan,
    you are hilarious, I don’t drink milk, well I take that back, I only put a little bit of milk for my coffee in the morning. Do you know wether the cows has been fed with real grass? not the artificial cow food with grass flavoring? Kidding …..kidding ….

  2. Oh my god, elra, I’d never thought about the possibility that this horrible flavour could be Simulated Spring, rather than real-spring-grassiness!!

  3. Oh Duncan,
    I love it when you get your knickers in a knot!
    Thank christ the cows have anything to eat… it could be worse, you could be drinking that scientifically wizzed bean stuff that some people call soy milk.

  4. You know, Jack, when the cows are eating such pungent herbage, I’m almost tempted to go down the strange-vegan-liquids path. Seriously. (No offence to vegans… I know you like soymilk, but it ain’t good ol’ moojuice.)

  5. hahaha… and to think, when I first moved from the farm I thought ALL milk tasted crap, after being reared on the so-fresh-you-see-it-coming-out stuff. I cringe at what you’d think of THAT flavour! 🙂

  6. Hee! You’re so funny, Duncan. I’ve never detected anything strange about the milk here, and I think we import ours mostly from Australia and New Zealand. Then again, I rarely drink it straight– it usually goes to the baked goods, or as chocolate milk. Yum, grassy!

  7. You should all see how Duncan reacts to the omnipresent UHT stuff you get almost systematically in Europe!

  8. Harry, I’ll ban you for mentioning UHT in this place! Shame on you:P

    Manggy, maybe you guys get all the good industrial milk and we get the too-close-to-nature stuff 😉

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