I once had a client, 18yo, who had concentration problems… why? Quite possibly because he was coming home from work and drinking 5-9 tinnies per night with his dad. Adult bonding? Bloody hell. That's when I realised just how far from the alco-mainstream I was!

I will give you some insight to what our family is like. I have two teenage children who started high school this year. Our family really doesn't drink alcohol. It has never been an important part of our lives. Yes a glass of a nice red that I might pick up when we are having a cheese platter or something special for dinner and that is about it. I don't get drunk nor does my husband. We are just not into feeling hung over like when we were younger. Most of my friends and their families are the same. I am ethnic and so is a friend of mine and her husband and we both have teenage children. We have been always of the mindset that on a special occasion say Christmas or a Wedding we have let them have a sip of red or a 1/4 of a glass of bubbly. None of our children seem to care about alcohol or have a weird facination for it. Now I consider myself to be an exceptional parent and I have children who talk to me about everything and trust me.

So here comes the hitting home part. My son vary rarely goes and sleeps over at other peoples houses and I know where they are all the time. They dont hang out in shopping malls and they are kept occupied and their school work is in order. But last weekend my son slept over his mates place. He is just about to turn 14. The day after he went to school and I got a phonecall from the principle. Him and his mate were caught in the toilets at lunchtime drinking a can of beer that his mate had brought to school. 3 days suspended at home. I was mortified and stunned at how this could possibly be. My son explained to me that he had a sip of the beer and it tasted gross so he spat it out. He then told me that his mate apparently steals beer from his step father on a regular basis and sculls it down like a real pro. He had felt pressured to try the beer for fear he would be put down by his friends. When he was at his friends place the night before apparently the other boys parents are involved in some type of country walking group that gets together once a week on a week night to get hammered, they all put money in everyweek to pay for the beer. The boys step father the previous day had taken them to the liquor shop and bought 100 cartons of beer for this club. Had them unload it from his van and start unpacking it, putting it into eskies with ice. About 70 people came over to their house and drank all night. This kid apparently drinks behind his parents backs all the time.

Now my son did not have the opportunity to tell me about it as he was at this childs house and had gone to school with him. He certainly has learnt his lesson and I hope to goodness that this never happens again. He wont be sleeping over this boys house again nor will he be associating with this child again. I have not banned him from spending time with this child at school, I cant and I have no control over that, but my son has made the decision to not spend time with him on his own. So I hope that means I have been a good parent and that my son just made a stupid mistake like lots of kids do.

I don't think it matters what rules or legislation is in place. People are going to do what they are going to do. All I can do as a parent is make sure my children are informed and hope that influences like these other stupid parents dont come into my childrens lives very often. Children do silly things and make mistakes as part of growing up and learning about life. The emphasis should be more on educating parents to have an open line of communication with their children. The problem is lots of parents dont talk to their kids even about how their day was. I know this because every weekend my childrens friends are always sleeping over and they always say to me, Amelita I wish my parents ate dinner with us or I wish my mum and dad talked to me about my life.

So that tells me that unless we change parents attitudes and get them caring about what their children have to say and listen to them we are always going to be faced with all sorts of influences, legislation or no legislation.

Gosh I hope all that makes sense?

Swedes now catch the train to Copenhagen from Malmo - this can even happen for a night on the town now (ironically some people now live in Sweden and commute to Denmark) and the ferry terminal at Helsinborg (and the other side, Helsinor) are a sight to see with swedes and the carts of "full strength" beer - prized spoils from their viking raids!!!